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8/30/2016

Do You Suffer From ETI? Probably.

…Are you into ETI?

Used to mean Extra Terrestrial Intelligence, now it represents a void of any earthly intelligence.

ETI makes people just stand in line and wait for the next cool “thing” to come around.

Problem is, they forget to cancel their subscription to their previous cool thing. So now this  new cool thing is just added onto the previous cool thing like overalls onto a prom dress,

so we end up with so many cool things going on at once that it’s just really cold out there.

But what exactly is ETI? Well, oddly it IS the absolute latest thing, while representing the antithesis of it. When you participate in ETI, you look foolish, eyes roll, whispers and chuckles. When you follow ETI, you become a slave to it. I gotta follow this next one or I might miss something.

Long beards, short shorts, skinny jeans, nose piercing, farm to table, dreads, thick rimmed glasses, cleansings, tiny houses, tiny cars, tiny suits, ultra super duper fair trade coffee, GMO-free, Free Tibet, architecture (yes, architecture!), cakes, designer water, wrist devices, mixologists, funny colorful socks, ring finger nail polish distinction and oh my my…craft beers.

Now, as a stand alone, none of these are an issue—well, maybe the cleansings…but we are literally attacked daily with all of them at once. Some people make it a must to have an interest in at least 5 or more of these at once. Without realizing you just can’t like THAT much stuff or be interested in THAT many things or be passionate about THAT many causes.

OK, but what is ETI?

Well, it’s Every Trend Imaginable…all at once, at the same time, simultaneously, happening right now, today.

And it’s been going on for some time. Personally, I think the internet is to blame, of course I think the internet is to blame for a lot of things, but this time I might be right. You see, we are presented with ETI every minute of every day, weekly, monthly, by ad, by site, by show, by feed, by post. And we can’t turn it off or won’t? It’s too tempting to see the next “thing” that might  actually be OUR thing. But think about it; it can’t all be our thing. What happened  to individuality? Our search for individuality has somehow lead us full circle into a copycat trap—finding something that looks unusual, but by the very nature of how we come upon it, (enter the web), it’s rarity dissolves.

If we really care about uniqueness, we can’t seriously expect to find it in exactly the place the entire rest of the planet is searching for it…can we? So yeah, it’s the web. What’s “trending”, making us all alike.

So…put down your Dr. Ulrich Fathelbaum’s Gorilla Brown Ale, long enough to realize your beard is swimming in it; stop admiring that girl with the tiny shorts and tiny dog with braids, a yellow tutu and a sweater vest (the dog, that is) crossing the street on her way to the hemp store and be yourself. No, your REAL self. So the guy in the coffee shop across the street having his doppio skinny decaf whipped blonde Sumatran latte, can stop watching you intently and stop wondering where he can get a naturally woven parsley skull cap just like yours.

It’s ETI people and it’s just too much.

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